(Mohammad Masood Ahmed (2025), Would You Like To Know Something About Islam, Second Edition, Crescent Books Inc., New York, USA. Pg. 249-278)

The status and role of women in Islam are inquired into more than any other matter. This is certainly a delicate subject. I request the reader to pay close attention and proceed with an open mind.

Islamic rules and regulations were established more than 1400 years ago and needed to be defined thoroughly to cover all aspects of life. The laws and principles had to consider individuals' psyches and habits, their environments and circumstances, strengths and weaknesses, natures and choices, needs and desires, both good and bad, before creating a comprehensive life system. If Islam failed to address even the smallest details or left any area ambiguous, it would not be recognized as a complete way of life. Any possibility of an occurrence, even if it happened once in a person’s lifetime, requires Islam to provide guidance.

The status/role of women in society is an important matter for which Islam has given comprehensive rules, rights, and guidance. Indeed, in many respects, Islam is the only religion that addresses this. More than just in theory, Islam significantly elevated women’s status more than 1400 years ago; for the first time in human history, women experienced a sense of their true identity.

The mention of a person or entity in the Holy Quran, even once, signifies great importance. This highlights the significance of women’s roles, status, rights, and duties, to the degree that an entire chapter is devoted to them: Surah an-Nisa (The Women). This chapter is the fourth in order and the third longest in the Quran.

Many non-Muslims, as well as some contemporary Muslims, believe that Islam considers women unequal to men, treating them as second-class citizens. This belief is incorrect and stems from misunderstandings and some degree of ignorance. The Holy Quran explicitly states that there is no distinction among individuals, except based on their piety ¹. The greater a person's piety, whether man or woman, the more distinguished and worthy they are in the sight of Allah.

Both men and women are creations of Allah, designed with the same purpose: to worship Him, specifically through their assigned roles. How, then, can one be treated differently from the other? Both genders are servants of Allah, rather than servants to one another. They are required to fulfill distinct and vital roles in society as decreed by the Lord. These roles are assigned based on their abilities and potential, reflecting their physical, psychological, and biological characteristics. To determine the appropriate roles for us according to our nature, who better to judge than our Lord, Who created us and knows our qualities more deeply than anyone else?

If we demand more than what we are assigned or fail to meet the necessary requirements, we clearly violate the oath we made as His creations when He questioned us, “Am I not your Lord?” and we all responded, “Yes…” ². This also breaches the agreement we, as Muslims, established with Him when we voluntarily submitted and pledged to obey Him without disobedience. Both men and women should embrace the roles assigned by the Lord and fulfill them as required ³.

Verifying Equality

To verify whether equality exists between women and men in Islam, one must first find out: Do women’s fundamental rights differ from men’s? Are they disadvantaged or seen as inferior? Are they treated differently in terms of obtaining justice, respect, and dignity, both in the home (as a mother, wife, sister, or daughter) and in society? Are there disparities in how rewards and punishments are administered, as well as in attaining status and compensation? If so, this implies that women are not afforded the same equality as men in Islam, facing restrictions on their rights and freedoms that men do not encounter. If the answer is no, as is the case, then there is indeed equality between them. Nevertheless, their roles and functions in life differ. These distinctions are essential for sustaining a balanced and moving society forward in a positive direction.

Allah, in His divine wisdom, has assigned distinct functions and roles to women. This assignment does not imply that women are inferior to men. If Muslim women view themselves as inferior, it may stem from insufficient Islamic knowledge or the impact of social and cultural influences unrelated to Islam. I firmly believe that Islam should not be accused for their circumstances.

Islam has taken every reasonable measure to ensure that women can lead happy lives and enjoy the equality granted to them by Allah. Women have the right to assert their rights whenever needed, with full support from Islam. Should they choose not to advocate for their rights, Islam should not be held accountable. Furthermore, if certain self-proclaimed Muslim societies impose un-Islamic cultural norms or customs that infringe upon women's rights, such actions should not be labeled as Islamic.

I hold Muslim men entirely responsible for sometimes making women feel insecure, inferior, degraded, depressed, and weak. Muslim men who fail to show women the respect and dignity they deserve are uninformed about Islamic teachings and principles concerning women’s status, and their actions do not reflect Islamic values. Not only will they incur costs for this unfair and unjust behavior in this life, but they will also be held accountable on Judgment Day. Ignorance is not an excuse. I can assure you, drawing from Islamic teachings and my own experiences, that when both men and women are fully aware of their rights and responsibilities, and adhere to the regulations related to their roles, they enjoy a blissful life here on Earth.

Equality with Man

In this regard, Allah revealed clear verses to demonstrate how men and women are obligated to each other and must lawfully fulfill their duties and uphold mutual rights.

Allah states in the Holy Quran:

مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا مِنْ ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنْثَى وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُمْ بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ 97⁴

Whoever does a righteous deed, man or woman, and they are a believer, so certainly, We will keep them Alive in a state of righteous life and surely, We will give them their reward, befitting their best deeds.

يَاأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا...    ۝  ⁵

O people! Without a doubt, We created all of you from one male and one female and made you into different branches and different tribes…

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ 21⁶

And this is from among His signs that He created for you pairs from within you, so you may find comfort in them. And created between you love and mercy. Undoubtedly, in this, indeed, are signs for those who think.

يَاأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً...    ۝  ⁷

O people! Fear your Lord, Who created you from a single soul, and created from that soul its mate, and spread from both of them many men and women…

These verses, along with many others, clearly demonstrate that men and women are equal. Both play integral roles in the continuation of humankind on Earth. Men could not have achieved this alone without the partnership of women. The terms "mate" and "pair" illustrate their fundamental equality. The responsibility for populating the Earth is shared equally among them; all ultimate praise is due to Allah.

Equality In Rights

Allah states in the Holy Quran:

...وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ 228⁸

…and women, too, have rights (over men), as they (men) have rights over them (women) legally. But men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is powerful and wise.

The statement that "men have a degree (of advantage) over them” highlights the physical advantages attributed to men's physiques. It also suggests that men are typically responsible for bearing the financial burdens of their families and providing essential needs, positioning them as the natural overseers of both internal and external family matters. However, when a wife works outside the home and contributes to the family income, this “degree (of advantage)" is shared, allowing women to gain more rewards for participating in these responsibilities.

In every group or organization, there is always one individual (e.g., a leader, CEO, or president) designated as the leader, regardless of the entity’s size or scope. This person holds superior leadership over all other members. Likewise, it's perfectly acceptable that Allah grants men a “degree (of advantage)” accompanied by additional responsibilities and duties. This does not imply any inferiority of women.

To prevent the misuse of the “degree (of advantage)” by men and the infringement of women's rights, Allah emphasizes that “Women, too, have rights,” which must be respected. The verse ends with the phrase “Allah is powerful and wise,” highlighting that despite the “degree (of advantage)” given to men, Allah possesses ultimate authority. Should men misuse their power, Allah will enact punishment. When Allah describes Himself as “wise,” It clarifies that men's superiority is not meant for domination over women. Instead, Allah has wisely assigned unique roles and responsibilities to both men and women for their own benefit, their families, and ultimately for the overall welfare of society.

Women Are Not Inferior To Men

The following verses from the Holy Quran illustrate the status of women at the time when the holy Quran was revealed. Allah states:

وَإِذَا بُشِّرَ أَحَدُهُمْ بِالْأُنْثَى ظَلَّ وَجْهُهُ مُسْوَدًّا وَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ 58 يَتَوَارَى مِنَ الْقَوْمِ مِنْ سُوءِ مَا بُشِّرَ بِهِ أَيُمْسِكُهُ عَلَى هُونٍ أَمْ يَدُسُّهُ فِي التُّرَابِ أَلَا سَاءَ مَا يَحْكُمُونَ 59⁹

When anyone among them is given the good news of a daughter, so all day his face darkens and he is full of angst. He hides himself in shame from his community, on account of the unpleasantness of this good news. Should he keep her in disgrace or bury her Alive in the ground? Look, how terribly they judge!

Before the era of the Holy Prophet , some Arab tribes commonly practiced burying their infant daughters alive. Islam abolished this practice entirely. Not long ago, in India, when husbands died, their widows were required to be burned alive along with their husbands’ corpses. This was a Hindu ritual known as sati, which was only outlawed in 1829.

In Islam, a woman, whether she is a newborn or a widow, does not bring shame to an individual Muslim man or the broader Muslim community. She is an autonomous individual, not merely at the mercy of men or society. She cannot be subjected to practices like being buried alive or cremated with her deceased spouse. Indeed, Islam allows her to remarry, ensuring that she and her children can reside under the care of a legitimate husband or paternal figure.

In the above verse, Allah emphasizes that a woman is not inferior, and her birth should not lead to sadness or grief. Today, many people invest significant amounts of money to find out the gender of their unborn child, with the announcement of a male often causing great joy. Upon discovering the gender, a number of families reluctantly accept the idea of giving birth to girls, and some even choose abortion. If Muslims experience sadness at the news of a baby girl, it stems not from Islam but from a misunderstanding of its teachings.

A hadith from the Holy Prophet states that daughters are blessings from Allah ¹⁰. Another hadith indicates that a father who successfully raises, educates, and marries off two of his daughters is guaranteed a place in Heaven ¹¹. Additionally, the Holy Prophet mentioned that the best form of charity is to support a daughter who has returned to you after a divorce or being widowed, particularly when she lacks the means to support herself ¹². Conversely, those who bury their daughters alive will face severe punishment. Similarly, those who perceive a female child as a burden, feel disgraced by them, and do not treat them equally to their male children will also face consequences. Allah depicts the horrors of Judgment Day:

وَإِذَا الْبِحَارُ سُجِّرَتْ 6 وَإِذَا النُّفُوسُ زُوِّجَتْ 7 وَإِذَا الْمَوْءُودَةُ سُئِلَتْ 8 بِأَيِّ ذَنْبٍ قُتِلَتْ 9 وَإِذَا الصُّحُفُ نُشِرَتْ 10 وَإِذَا السَّمَاءُ كُشِطَتْ 11 وَإِذَا الْجَحِيمُ سُعِّرَتْ 12 وَإِذَا الْجَنَّةُ أُزْلِفَتْ 13 عَلِمَتْ نَفْسٌ مَا أَحْضَرَتْ 14¹³

And when the oceans are provoked, when the souls are reunited, when the girl buried alive is asked, for what sin was she murdered? when the registers of deeds are laid open, when the sky is stripped of its skin, and when Hell is set ablaze, and Heaven is brought near, then everyone will come to know what it has sent forth.

This is an important issue. Islam clearly establishes that women are not inferior to men. Moreover, the verse cited below clearly illustrates the rightful position of women as wives. Allah states:

...هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ...     ۝  ¹⁴

They (women) are your garment, and you (men) are their garment...

A lot can be discussed to clarify the straightforward statement regarding the connection between men and women. The analogy of men and women as garments for one another illustrates important aspects of morality, trust, and security. Garments serve to enhance and embellish a person’s character, improving their appearance. They hide physical imperfections and flaws. When appropriately worn, they provide modest coverage for private areas. They represent an individual’s personality, emotional state, inner thoughts, values, and occasions. They convey the intended messages and provide protection from the environment, thereby contributing to an individual’s respect and dignity.

Now, suppose a woman is considered inferior to a man. In that scenario, how can she become his garment? Similarly, how can a man become a garment for someone inferior to him? Only when both are equal can they serve as garments for each other and deliver all the benefits mentioned above. This brief excerpt from the Holy Quran explains everything.

Equality In Reward

It would clearly be unfair if two people who were assigned the same task were rewarded differently. this inequality cannot arise when Allah assigns the task and determines the reward. While women may find it easier to earn rewards, they are compensated equally to men. Allah says:

وَمَنْ يَعْمَلْ مِنَ الصَّالِحَاتِ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنْثَى وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَأُولَئِكَ يَدْخُلُونَ الْجَنَّةَ وَلَا يُظْلَمُونَ نَقِيرًا 124¹⁵

And whoever performs righteous deeds, whether man or woman, provided that he/she is a believer, they will enter Heaven, and they shall not be wronged even a bit.

...لِلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِمَّا اكْتَسَبُوا وَلِلنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِمَّا اكْتَسَبْنَ وَاسْأَلُوا اللَّهَ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمًا 32¹⁶

...For men, is the portion of what they earned, and for women, is the portion of what they earned. And beg Allah for His bounties. Undoubtedly, Allah is the knower of everything that exists.

Allah further states:

فَاسْتَجَابَ لَهُمْ رَبُّهُمْ أَنِّي لَا أُضِيعُ عَمَلَ عَامِلٍ مِنْكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنْثَى بَعْضُكُمْ مِنْ بَعْضٍ فَالَّذِينَ هَاجَرُوا وَأُخْرِجُوا مِنْ دِيَارِهِمْ وَأُوذُوا فِي سَبِيلِي وَقَاتَلُوا وَقُتِلُوا لَأُكَفِّرَنَّ عَنْهُمْ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ وَلَأُدْخِلَنَّهُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ ثَوَابًا مِنْ عِنْدِ اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ عِنْدَهُ حُسْنُ الثَّوَابِ 195¹⁷

I do not discard the work of any laborer from among you, man or woman; all are from each other. Thus, whoever migrated and were exiled from their homes and were persecuted in My way, and they fought and were martyred, I shall certainly erase their sins from them and shall certainly admit them into the Heavens, beneath which are flowing streams. (This is) a reward from Allah, and with Allah alone is the excellence of reward.

إِنَّ الْمُصَّدِّقِينَ وَالْمُصَّدِّقَاتِ وَأَقْرَضُوا اللَّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا يُضَاعَفُ لَهُمْ وَلَهُمْ أَجْرٌ كَرِيمٌ 18¹⁸

Undoubtedly, men and women who give charity and those who give a loan to Allah, it will be doubled for them, and for them is a dignified reward.

إِنَّ الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَالْمُسْلِمَاتِ وَالْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْقَانِتِينَ وَالْقَانِتَاتِ وَالصَّادِقِينَ وَالصَّادِقَاتِ وَالصَّابِرِينَ وَالصَّابِرَاتِ وَالْخَاشِعِينَ وَالْخَاشِعَاتِ وَالْمُتَصَدِّقِينَ وَالْمُتَصَدِّقَاتِ وَالصَّائِمِينَ وَالصَّائِمَاتِ وَالْحَافِظِينَ فُرُوجَهُمْ وَالْحَافِظَاتِ وَالذَّاكِرِينَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا وَالذَّاكِرَاتِ أَعَدَّ اللَّهُ لَهُمْ مَغْفِرَةً وَأَجْرًا عَظِيمًا 35¹⁹

Without a doubt, Muslim men and Muslim women and faithful men and faithful women and devout men and devout women and truthful men and truthful women and obedient men and obedient women and fearful men and fearful women and charitable men and charitable women and men who fast and women who fast and men who guard their private parts and women who guard them and men who greatly remember Allah and women who remember (Him); Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a grand reward.

If women were inferior to men, the rewards for their deeds would be less than those for men performing the same deeds. That is not true, however. Allah addresses both men and women equally and promises them the same rewards, indicating that neither is inferior.

Equality In Inheritance

The All-Knowing and All-Wise Allah knew that the distribution of wealth and property would become a significant issue, so He clearly outlined its equitable distribution, according to both men’s and women’s needs and share of responsibilities. Therefore, Allah mentions in the sacred Quran about inheritance:

لِلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ وَلِلنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ مِمَّا قَلَّ مِنْهُ أَوْ كَثُرَ نَصِيبًا مَفْرُوضًا 7²⁰

For men, there is a share in what their parents and relatives leave behind, and for women, there is a share in what their parents and relatives leave behind. Whether more or less, it is a portion designated.

Before the advent of Islam, women were denied any rights to inheritance and were often viewed as property to be passed down. Islam transformed this, granting women a defined status in society and greatly improving their standing. Some critics argue that because women receive only half the inheritance share compared to men in the same familial relationship, this reflects a position of inferiority. However, it was not the Prophet () who determined these percentages; it was Allah Himself, the All-Knowing and All-Wise (al-Hakim), who understands the true rationale behind His distribution of inheritance.

Scholars of Islam recognized that men bear more responsibilities and duties, necessitating a larger share of wealth, while women have minimal financial obligations, allowing them to manage with a smaller portion. For instance, in Islam, the man is responsible for all financial upkeep of the family, including the support of unmarried female relatives, such as an inheriting sister. On the other hand, a woman is not burdened by such financial duties; her earnings and inheritance remain entirely hers, and she is not obligated to use her resources for family support. Therefore, while a man’s inheritance primarily benefits his family, a woman’s inheritance is wholly her own. This viewpoint suggests that a woman’s inheritance can actually be considered larger than that of a man’s.

Protection Of Women And Their Dignity

It is important to put protective measures in place for women to safeguard their dignity and chastity, especially if they have no one else to stand up for them. Allah explicitly stipulates harsh penalties for individuals who mistreat women and act unjustly towards them. As mentioned in the Holy Quran:

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَرْمُونَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ الْغَافِلَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ لُعِنُوا فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ 23 يَوْمَ تَشْهَدُ عَلَيْهِمْ أَلْسِنَتُهُمْ وَأَيْدِيهِمْ وَأَرْجُلُهُمْ بِمَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ 24²¹

Undoubtedly, those who defame chaste (and) innocent women are cursed here and in the Hereafter, and for them is a mighty torment on the Day when their tongues, their hands, and their feet will testify against them for what they used to do.

وَالَّذِينَ يُؤْذُونَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ بِغَيْرِ مَا اكْتَسَبُوا فَقَدِ احْتَمَلُوا بُهْتَانًا وَإِثْمًا مُبِينًا 58²²

And those who inflict pain on faithful men and faithful women for no reason; then certainly, they took upon themselves the burden of slandering and of manifest sin.

Historically, divorced or widowed women faced disgrace in their communities, with ex-husbands and relatives often obstructing their chances to remarry. Islam addressed these challenges by allowing women to remarry and instructing others to support this. This enables women to preserve their honor and dignity. Allah mentions in the Holy Quran:

وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ أَنْ يَنْكِحْنَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ إِذَا تَرَاضَوْا بَيْنَهُمْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ...    ۝  ²³

And when you have divorced women, and when they have completed the prescribed waiting period, then do not prevent them from remarrying a husband of their choosing, when they have mutually agreed to this, legally…

وَالَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنْكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَاجًا يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنْفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا فَعَلْنَ فِي أَنْفُسِهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ 234²⁴

And those among you who die and leave behind wives, then they must wait four months and ten days (before they remarry). And upon completion of their prescribed waiting period, there is no blame on you for what they have decided for themselves, as per the law. And Allah is fully aware of what you do.

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنْتُمْ فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ...    ۝  ²⁵

And there is no blame on you, in that you discreetly convey to such women a message for engagement or if you have concealed the wish to marry in your heart (so as to tell them later) …

Women have the right to seek separation from their husbands and may initiate divorce when cohabitation becomes untenable. During the divorce process, some husbands may try to recover gifts given to their wives, which can lead to various difficulties. In this context, Allah states:

يَاأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَنْ تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ...    ۝  ²⁶

O you who have brought faith! It is not permitted for you to become inheritors of women forcefully, and do not stop them with the intent to take something from the dowry that you had given them, except upon their manifest fornication…

Women's Different Roles In Life

Women, regardless of their religious or other affiliations, have four major roles to play in life: mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters. Women, as mothers, are respected throughout the world, and every society attaches a near-holy status to them. Islam grants women the highest place in society in their role as mothers. Regarding her children, the status of a mother is exalted three times that of a father. No matter how much a mother is served, it is said that no child can ever be grateful enough for even the one day of pain she endured while giving birth and in caring for her child during infancy and thereafter. ²⁷

The Holy Quran mentions clearly:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا 23 وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا 24²⁸

And your Lord commands to you the decision to not worship except Him and to treat your parents well. If in your life they reach old age, whether one of them or both, do not moan and groan at them, and do not rebuff them, but speak to them in kind words. And extend your arm mercifully for them, and keep supplicating, “O Sustainer, be kind to both of them, as they raised me in my childhood.”

Numerous ahadith emphasize that the Holy Prophet instructed Muslims to honor their parents and prevent them from becoming a societal burden. It is the responsibility of Muslims to care for their parents, just as those parents cared for them during their youth. A well-known hadith states that “Heaven is at the mother’s feet” ²⁹, signifying that by treating one’s mother (and, certainly, the father) with kindness, Muslims can attain Heaven more easily.

In Islamic culture, a sister holds a significant role. If she is the eldest, she stands alongside her mother and earns equivalent respect. In cases where the mother has passed, her position is even more esteemed as she takes on the maternal role. Typically, she shows kindness to her siblings, who reciprocate with love, deep respect, and support during her times of need. The children of the sister naturally grow closer to their aunts and uncles, fostering reciprocal affection. When the father is absent, a brother assumes responsibility for caring for his sister(s).

As previously noted, although some misguided individuals might be disheartened by the news of a daughter’s birth, this sentiment is uncommon in most Muslim families. Even if such feelings arise, they are fleeting, and daughters often become deeply loved by their parents and families. Daughters regularly help their mothers with household tasks and provide warmth to their fathers. Generally, daughters express abundant love towards their parents, especially their fathers. A Muslim father earns a place in Heaven if he successfully educates and marries off two of his daughters.

Parents have a crucial role in nurturing their children in the true Islamic spirit. Preparing daughters for successful marriages and future lives is paramount. Once married, a daughter leaves her parents' home, becoming cherished by all. She responds to her family's love and care, extending the same warmth to her in-laws. Relatives often come forward to support parents when their daughter is getting married. Islam values women at every stage of their lives, recognizing them as the heart of every Muslim household.

Wife - The Partner of Man In Life

The most important role of women in society, as well as in Islam, is that of a wife. In this role, numerous questions arise regarding her status, treatment, rights, and responsibilities. Women may face mistreatment and oppression from husbands who, out of ignorance, violate Islamic principles. As a result, some Muslim women might feel insecure and unhappy due to their husbands' un-Islamic behavior. Nonetheless, in a Muslim marriage, the wife often brings immense joy as she becomes the queen, ruling over the heart of her husband, the king of the family. Here, she has the ability to create a little slice of Heaven on Earth for herself and her family.

Most Islamic rules regarding women pertain to their status and role as wives. Islam defines and protects their being, status, rights, dignity, chastity, well-being, and welfare, among other aspects. Islam establishes and clarifies the:

• Rights and duties of wives — thus, no one can impose personal injunctions to override the Lord’s justice for women and mistreat them.
• Rights and duties of husbands – to ensure they do not overstep the limits established by the Lord and His beloved Holy Prophet .
• Firm and equitable marriage rules allow men and women to live together as husband and wife and collaborate in managing their family affairs while fulfilling the other purposes of marriage.
• Firm injunctions regarding divorce ensure that when the time comes to end the marital contract, individuals can do so peacefully and equitably within the boundaries of the law.

Additionally, Islam does not abandon a woman in isolation, such as when her husband passes away; rather, it provides guidelines for her to remarry if she desires. Islam also outlines how and for what duration she should nurse her children. ³⁰ Both husbands and wives have clearly defined rewards for fulfilling their duties and consequences for disregarding each other's rights.

The family represents the fundamental unit of society. When this unit thrives in happiness and peace, it leads to the prosperity of the entire community. But how can families cultivate happiness? This can only happen when every family member plays a role in promoting the collective well-being of the family.

In a family, the wife typically manages the ‘home ministry,’ while the husband handles the ‘foreign affairs.' Wives generally have fewer responsibilities outside the home. Earning income and managing all matters related to life beyond the household are primarily the husband's duties. Likewise, husbands are usually not involved in daily domestic tasks. Responsibilities such as caring for children's hygiene, providing suitable clothing, preparing meals, and ensuring family well-being fall to their wives. Husbands provide for the family, and wives utilize what is given with great care, recognizing the hard work that goes into earning it. Together, husbands and wives collaborate for the family's benefit, educating and training their children to become responsible individuals, good Muslims, and devoted citizens.

A husband has the duty to provide his wife with respect, dignity, security, shelter, and essential provisions for daily life ³¹. When her husband is absent, the wife must safeguard her chastity, dignity, and family property ³². Typically, if wives feel undervalued or are mistreated by their husbands, love and partnership can diminish, giving way to distance and insecurity. Therefore, it is essential for both husband and wife to cultivate trust and loyalty toward one another, for their mutual well-being and to please Allah. If a husband and wife do not act as equal partners or fail to fulfill their respective roles, it leads to household disruptions and ultimately jeopardizes family life. By advising the Holy Prophet’s wives, Allah conveys a significant message to Muslim wives:

يَاأَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ وَأُسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلًا 28 وَإِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَدَّ لِلْمُحْسِنَاتِ مِنْكُنَّ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا 29³³

O Prophet ()! Say to your wives: “If it is the life of the world and its adornment that you seek, then come! I shall make a provision for you and release you honorably. And if you seek Allah and His Prophet and the Abode of the Hereafter, then undoubtedly, Allah has prepared for the righteous wives among you, a great reward.”

In Islam, it is common for a wife to stay at home primarily. Nevertheless, for the benefit of the family and to support her husband, share household responsibilities, manage family chores, or engage in a suitable job or profession, she is allowed to go out, provided she upholds her chastity, respect, and dignity. Ultimately, she is a partner to her husband in life.

The roles of men and women are clearly defined by Allah for the benefit of all. Each person has a specific role to fulfill in this life and will be evaluated on their performance. If individuals persist in questioning these roles, they will struggle to fulfill them effectively.

Allah mandates that women cover their bodies and wear a hijab (head covering) in public. A careful consideration and genuine examination of the effects of immodesty and obscenity will reveal that these behaviors inevitably lead to catastrophic outcomes for society and lasting harm to the dignity of both men and women.

Hijab

Hijab refers to veil, Screen, or cover and is the Arabic word used to refer to a woman’s scarf. However, the term originally is broader than just the head covering and includes the concept of modesty, privacy, and separation in various forms. It essentially signifies “a barrier.” In Islam, there are two types of relationships between Muslim men and women: they are either mahram or non-mahram to each other. The requirement for hijab is based on these two classifications. To comprehend when hijab is obligatory, it is crucial to understand the definitions of mahram and non-mahram. According to Islamic law:

• Mahram identifies any male and female relatives who are prohibited from marrying each other. This includes parents and grandparents with their children and grandchildren, aunts and uncles with their nieces and nephews, and biological siblings with one another. All these relatives are deemed mahram.
• Non-mahram denotes any male or female who can legally marry each other at any stage in their lives. For instance, a sister-in-law is considered non-mahram to her brother-in-law since they can marry if her husband dies or they divorce.

Hijab is essential between non-mahram individuals, whereas it is not obligatory among mahram. Elderly individuals who do not desire to marry may opt to remove their hijab. To meet hijab requirements, a Muslim woman (typically aged 12+) should strive to cover herself entirely, except for her face. She must never reveal her body to a non-mahram and should dress modestly even in front of a mahram. Through hijab, Allah safeguards women from the harms of men, jinn, Satan, and outside influences. Furthermore, as she covers herself and maintains her chastity, her status in piety is elevated.

Furthermore, hijab encompasses more than merely covering the head while allowing the body to remain partially visible. In fact, this undermines the true essence of hijab. It requires both a head covering and modest clothing to ensure that the body and its contours are not exposed. This is the complete representation of hijab. The practice of hijab and the principle of lowering one's gaze apply to both genders; men are also expected to dress modestly and avert their gaze when in the presence of women. The primary goal of hijab is to cultivate piety, chastity, and modesty among all Muslims. Allah instructs Prophet Muhammad :

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ 30³⁴

Command your followers to avert or lower their eyes and protect their modesty; this is more virtuous for them. Undoubtedly, Allah is fully aware of whatever they do.

وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَى جُيُوبِهِنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ... 31³⁵

And command the faithful women that they keep their gazes lowered, and guard their private parts, so as not to display their adornments, except for what is self-apparent. And (they should) draw their head-coverings over their bosoms and not make visible their adornments, except to their husbands…

يَاأَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَاءِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ جَلَابِيبِهِنَّ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَنْ يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ...    ۝  ³⁶

O Prophet ()! Say to your wives and daughters and the believing women that they keep their shawls hung over their bodies. This is the easiest way for them to be recognized (as respectable women) and not bothered (by strange men) …

What Allah prescribes for both men and women, such as the hijab, is advantageous for them and society at large. Frequently, individuals do not recognize the enduring benefits that come from following Allah, overlook the genuine purpose of life, and instead chase fleeting pleasures. These pleasures, which may arise from power, wealth, fame, and sexual encounters, can often eclipse other worldly joys. Nevertheless, Allah desires that individuals manage their detrimental desires and pursue His contentment. The true victors are those who gain mastery over their wants and needs, while the true failures are those who allow themselves to be controlled by them.

Among all worldly pleasures, sexual pleasure may be the most significant. Yet, individuals must learn to manage and limit it before pursuing the path of righteousness, which ultimately leads to eternal life in Heaven. While not everyone pursues power and fame, and wise individuals understand the finite nature of satisfaction that wealth and fame can offer, nearly everyone seeks to maximize sexual pleasure in some form. Additionally, the current state of human societies has made controlling sexual desires exceedingly challenging. This struggle has resulted in various societal issues and significantly diminished sacred religious sentiments, as well as the fear of accountability.

Today, as the most sacred loses its significance, the private becomes exposed, and personal matters are no longer truly personal, the line between mine and yours blurs. In a world where everything seems sacrificed for freedom, pleasure, and indulgence, how can one achieve piety—or at least take the first steps toward it? Those who possess the courage to transcend worldly and bodily pleasures in favor of divine delights emerge victorious and can rightfully be called gentlemen. They deserve ultimate success and demonstrate that they are the ‘Best of all Creatures.’ It is essential to recognize that people do not need to suppress their natural desires entirely or eliminate them completely; instead, they should strive to manage them modestly.

Islam not only guides us in solving our problems but also addresses their roots. By preventing issues from arising initially, we can redirect our energies toward more fruitful and meaningful pursuits, avoiding the need to eliminate them later. Tackling problems at their core allows us to sidestep future complications. To support this principle, Islam instructs women to wear hijab and dress modestly.

The hijab and modest clothing are designed not to diminish women, but to offer them protection and respect. They do not aim to discriminate; instead, they seek to elevate a woman's sanctity. Rather than humiliating women, these garments aim to honor them. This practice is not about taking away their freedom, but about safeguarding them from predators. Instead of making them feel worthless, it highlights their value. It is not meant to subjugate but to enhance their status. Far from creating hardship, it aspires to uplift their spirits. The goal is not to weaken them, but to empower them. It does not seek to make them fragile; on the contrary, it promotes resilience. It's not intended to insult, but rather to grant dignity. Rather than impose control, it enables women to navigate unwanted male desires. It does not aim to degrade but to affirm their worth. Instead of treating them as possessions, it strives to liberate them, preserving their chastity and identity, ensuring they are not seen as property. This is not about stripping away rights; it’s about protecting their right to privacy by shielding them from intrusive, lustful gazes into their personal lives. Instead of confiscating their ownership, it allows women to keep what is rightfully theirs. Ultimately, hijab is not about belittling women; instead, it confers upon them a higher status and unique respect, ensuring they are not viewed merely as objects of desire. If there is nothing to see, there will be no gaze directed their way.

By instructing women to safeguard their privacy and modesty, Islam not only benefits them greatly but also shields men from the sins and issues that arise from encountering women who dress immodestly. The hijab serves to protect society from serious harm and helps maintain moral standards in a world where casual sexual relationships are common, preventing individuals from being reduced to mere sexual objects and enslaved by their desires. Islam stands against this kind of society; it aims to foster a community where sexual activities are properly regulated and do not dominate people's lives.

Hijab is required for both genders. Women must appropriately cover their bodies and hair, while men should lower their gaze, dress modestly, and steer clear of situations that may lead to sin or fornication of the eyes. ³⁷ Hijab serves to dissuade men from looking at modestly dressed women. Unfortunately, some women today are misusing hijab by incorporating fashion trends, inadvertently drawing men’s attention instead of deflecting it. By doing so, they risk tarnishing the sanctity of hijab. In Islam, women are granted a highly respected status, and Allah instructs both men and women to uphold this dignity. There are serious consequences from Allah for actions that tarnish this status and render it impure. That which is valuable should not be paraded publicly; it should be kept in private.

When performing salah, which involves bowing and bending, it is best for a woman to pray in a private room where even a mahram, including her husband, cannot see her. Islam seeks to protect her and her chastity at all times, so even an inappropriate gaze should not reach her.

Typically, when a woman passes away, even her husband cannot touch her body, as it could evoke memories of their intimate moments together. Islam ensures her dignity is preserved, even in death. Women's bodies are highly esteemed in Islam, leading to a framework of rules designed to protect their honor. No other religion or system safeguards women’s dignity, honor, and chastity to such a degree. This strongly affirms that women are neither inferior nor lesser beings in Islam. Nevertheless, if women fail to uphold their own honor and dignity, revealing what should remain private, the repercussions can be severe for both themselves and society. In such situations, who else could be held accountable but themselves?

Consider that the application of Islamic rules can vary in flexibility based on individual circumstances and the society in which a Muslim resides. It is essential for Muslims to understand these rules and the allowances they provide in order to follow them correctly.

Marriage: A Sacred Institution

To simply state that marriage is a sacred institution would be insufficient. Therefore, to grasp its sacredness, it is essential to fully comprehend the wisdom underlying it, which necessitates a deeper consideration of the entire concept of marriage.

According to the biological system established by Allah for populating the earth, people come into existence through the sexual union of a man and a woman, except for the miraculous births of Hawwa’ and ‘Isa , as well as the creation of the first man, ‘Adam . Humans enter the world through this union, and Allah has ordained that through marriage, they are born into a family consisting of a mother, a father, and their children. Eventually, these children will grow up to become parents, thus perpetuating the cycle of procreation.

Marriage does not occur solely to fulfill the sexual needs of a man and woman; it transforms them into husband and wife, and upon the birth of a child, into father and mother. Consequently, through marriage, a family is formed, leading to the development of a larger human society. While a man can be born out of wedlock and without the institution of marriage, which also contributes to human population growth, it does not establish a “family”. If this were the norm, I cannot imagine what kind of society we would inhabit.

In the animal kingdom, there isn't a necessity for roles like father, mother, or child, as the needs of each animal are naturally met in various ways. Therefore, there is no requirement to form bonds like marriage. The primary function of temporary sexual unions among animals is reproduction. Unlike humans, animals do not need to create a family or society, as they generally maintain a level of independence from birth until death.

From the outset, humans require assistance, and in various ways, they seek support throughout their lives. This help initially comes from family and later from society. Within a family unit, parents take on the responsibility of nurturing their child. If we cannot identify who the mother or father is—or to whom the child belongs—who then is accountable for their upbringing? In such situations, children might turn to society for assistance; however, when support is lacking, as often seen in impoverished communities, their development and overall wellbeing may suffer.

For instance, if the mother leaves after giving birth, the father's identity may remain unknown. The child’s mother is typically identified at birth, but society still depends on her to name the father on the birth certificate. If a man readily accepts the role of father, most societies typically have no issue recognizing him as such, even if the mother had relationships with multiple men prior to her pregnancy. Conversely, if no man steps forward to claim the child, the question arises: does the responsibility of fatherhood rest with society, or does it fall solely on the mother, who would also have to take on the father's role financially?

From its inception, marriage was created to avoid numerous challenges we encounter today. By shielding individuals from major dilemmas and fostering the strongest connections, it has consistently been seen as a sacred union. Marriage provides a woman with the role of wife, and indeed, the way she embodies this role varies across different societies.

Islamic rules concerning marriage endow women with numerous rights and responsibilities. Therefore, within Islam, a woman is not just an object for sexual gratification, nor is she simply a voiceless victim of male domination and oppression. She is a respected individual with complete rights granted to her. She cannot be traded, buried alive, burned, or regarded as property to be inherited after her husband’s death. Thanks to the principles of liberty and equality in Islam, she can advocate for her rights and seek justice on her own behalf.

In Islam, sexual relations between unmarried men and women are regarded as one of the gravest sins and are met with harsh penalties. By instituting marriage and forbidding premarital intimacy, Islam fosters a solid connection and trust between partners. This allows them to satisfy their natural desires with respect and dignity, ultimately experiencing the true joy of family life. Muslim couples benefit from a strong, intimate partnership, share responsibilities, gain respect within society, and engage in honorable parenting, all while promoting legitimate procreation to grow the human population.

For a fulfilling marital life and a harmonious family, both partners must choose to marry each other. A society founded on essential freedoms and de-void of coercion requires that its fundamental unit, the family, also exists free from pressure and unnecessary constraints. Both spouses should love, support, cooperate, protect, comfort, and understand one another while fulfilling each other’s rights and responsibilities. This is only possible if they unite in marriage through voluntary consent, without any reservations or external pressures.

However, even after a marriage based on choice and consent, if there is later pressure, suppression, or coercion, the relationship between husband and wife can become fragile and may not develop smoothly. Islam establishes all necessary guidelines for the union of a man and a woman while also offering solutions for potential issues that could arise within that union. Islam aims to ensure that both men and women live happily, free from oppression or coercion, allowing them, in all circumstances—whether in a union or outside of it—to strive to please their Lord and focus on the afterlife.

Right To Choose A Life Partner

There is a common misconception that in Islam, women are forced into marriage, having no right to choose their husbands. While parents, guardians, or elders occasionally arrange marriages, Islam mandates that a woman’s consent is essential. An arranged marriage refers to a marriage where the elders make the arrangements, rather than the bride herself.

In Islam, dating and courtship between men and women are prohibited to preserve the sanctity of marriage, so marriage arrangements typically involve elders. If a woman feels coerced into marriage, Islamic courts may nullify the marriage upon her request. All parties involved must consider every issue, including the woman's prior agreement, to prevent future separations, as divorce is strongly discouraged by Allah. Generally, the man initiates the marriage proposal through his elders to those of the woman's family, whose members have the authority to accept or reject the proposal after consulting with her.

Marriage is a complex commitment that involves many important decisions. Often, young individuals lack the life experience essential for making such choices, which is why they require guidance from their parents or elders. The bride’s family plays a crucial role, offering their insights to help her navigate this significant decision. They are particularly attentive in this sensitive area, as the happiness and future of their daughter or sister deeply concern them. They want her to thrive and find joy in married life. Hence, mutual agreement and her complete consent are vital, as her future is at stake.

Regrettably, some so-called “Muslim” societies are rife with forced marriages, which oppress women and contradict Islamic principles stemming from a lack of understanding. Nonetheless, many of these forced unions can be successful, as couples often make compromises and sacrifices for the sake of their family’s happiness. Since it is customary for men to propose marriage, and they hold the responsibility for their family's well-being, it is highly advisable for them to be gentle, compassionate, and kind to their wives and children. Additionally, they must exhibit the highest degree of tolerance.

The Holy Prophet said:

A divorcé or a widow must not be married until he/she is consulted, and a virgin (must not be married), until her permission is sought. ³⁸

A woman who has been previously married has more rights to her person than her guardian. And a virgin should also be consulted, and (sometimes) her silence implies her consent. ³⁹

Khansa’ bint Khuzan petitioned the Holy Prophet , stating that her father had married her to a person she did not like; the Holy Prophet revoked her marriage for her ⁴⁰. Abdullah bin Abbas reported that a woman came to the Holy Prophet and said, “My father has married me to a person whom I do not like,” and the Holy Prophet authorized that woman to either keep or revoke the marriage. ⁴¹

A young woman approached the Holy Prophet , stating, “My father has married me to my cousin, whom I do not like." The Holy Prophet then permitted her to either affirm or annul the marriage contract. Relieved, she responded, “I have already consented to my father's decision, but I want to emphasize to women that a father should not arrange his adult daughter's marriage without her agreement." ⁴²

Numerous cases of this nature were presented to the honorable court of the Holy Prophet , where newlywed women voiced their objections to marriages imposed upon them without their consent. The Holy Prophet either annulled the marriage directly or empowered the women who petitioned to dissolve the marriage contract themselves. This clearly illustrates that Muslim women possess the right to select their husbands.

As per the Holy Quran:

...فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ أَنْ يَنْكِحْنَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ إِذَا تَرَاضَوْا بَيْنَهُمْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ...    ۝  ⁴³

…when they have completed the prescribed waiting period, then you are not to prevent them from remarrying a husband of their choosing, when they have mutually agreed to it legally…

Polygamy In Islam

Polygamy is the practice of having more than one wife at a time. In Islam, a man is allowed to have more than one wife—in fact, up to four wives—at any given time. Why is this permitted, and under what circumstances?

Prior to the advent of Islam, men had the liberty to marry as many women as they desired, often without fairly treating them. In response, Islam set a limit of four wives and prohibited men from taking more than this number. Nonetheless, a man may marry multiple wives only if he can ensure fairness and equal treatment among them. The practice of polygamy in Islam faces significant criticism from non-Muslims, which often serves to tarnish the image of the religion. It is important to emphasize that Islam did not expand the number of wives from one to four but rather restricted it from an unlimited count to a maximum of four.

In Islam, a man is allowed to marry up to four wives, but only if he can treat all of them equally and fairly. However, the Qur’an itself advises that if a man fears he cannot be just, then he should marry only one woman. This is why few men in the Muslim ummah (community) choose to engage in polygamy. Due to the implications of this rule, many men are hesitant to marry two, three, or four wives concurrently. It’s important to recognize that the Muslim world encompasses many regions; Arabs, making up less than fifteen percent of the total Muslim population, and who occasionally practice polygamy, represent just one group. Often, Arabs possess the means to fulfill the obligations outlined by Islamic law required for polygamy, and it has long been part of their cultural practices. Concerning the allowance for multiple wives, Allah states in the Holy Quran:

...فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً...    ۝  ⁴⁴

... And if you are afraid that you will not be able to do justice among the (female) orphans, then bring into marriage whom you like from among the women, two, three, or four. Then if you are afraid that you will not be able to deal equitably, so have only one wife…

When exploring this topic, it is essential to recognize that this is not a divine mandate, but rather may be permissible if necessary, provided the conditions for fairly treating multiple wives are met. If there were a commandment requiring men to practice polygamy, it would be unreasonable, unnecessary, and unnatural. Conversely, if it were entirely prohibited under all circumstances, that would also be unnatural.

Islam aligns with human nature, offering solutions and guidance for a wide range of situations and needs. Nonetheless, it's crucial to note that men’s right to engage in polygamy is conditional and subject to specific limitations, obligations, and responsibilities. The directive clearly specifies that a man should not have more than four wives at any given time. If a husband cannot adequately support, both physically and financially, or fulfill his responsibilities towards all his wives, or if he is unable to ensure fairness and equal treatment among them, he must remain with just one wife. This is made clear in the previously mentioned verse. Furthermore, Allah states:

وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِنْ تُصْلِحُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا 129⁴⁵

And it is impossible that you do full justice among the wives, even though you are eager to; so do not lean over completely to one side, and leave the other hanging. And if you compromise and act piously, so certainly, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

This indicates that although a man is permitted to have multiple wives, it is under certain conditions only. It is not a free pass. Allah suggests that a man cannot fairly treat all his wives if he chooses to marry more than one.

Here are scenarios where a man can appropriately exercise the option for multiple wives, provided he is financially and otherwise equipped. Furthermore, it is advisable that the husband consults with his wife or wives before marrying another woman.

1. A man adores his infertile wife yet longs for children. If he chooses not to divorce her, what options does he have? One potential solution is to take a second wife capable of bearing children.
2. A man finds himself less attracted to his wife because of her attitude and personality. However, he does not consider divorce since it could lead to her financial struggles and separation from the children. Thus, a potential solution is to marry another woman while remaining with his first wife.
3. A man has sexual strength, and his intimate needs and desires are unmet by his sole wife. Would it be wise for him to engage in un-Islamic, illegitimate relationships with other women, leading to grave sinful behavior? No. In this case, he may marry another woman and fulfill his intimate needs within the boundaries of Islamic law, while also providing for the needs of another woman.
4. In the rare circumstance where a woman must decide between being a valued wife to a husband with multiple wives who offers her protection, what alternatives would exist if Islam disallowed polygamy? In this scenario, Islam provides women giving that safety and security, allowing men to marry such women and safeguard them.
5. In certain societies, the gender ratio is imbalanced, featuring a significantly higher number of females than males. Furthermore, in nations affected by warfare, a considerable portion of the male population has been lost, resulting in an even greater surplus of women. Consequently, many women are left without husbands or male relatives. This predicament enhances their vulnerability to injustices and fosters a life of isolation and neglect. As a result, various problems may arise, such as health complications, escalated medical expenses, depression, psychological challenges, and a host of social difficulties. By permitting men to marry multiple women and assume their responsibilities, Islam aims to alleviate many of these potential concerns.
6. Which is more acceptable for a wife and children: their husband and father’s legitimate and respected second wife, or his hidden, illegitimate affair with another woman who may have her own connections with other men? If a true and valid need for a husband and father exists, then opting for a second wife appears to be the more dignified choice.

Millions of people face these situations. By allowing men to have more than one wife, Islam offers a feasible solution, although it can be difficult for some cultures and societies to accept.

Overall, it's essential to note that the All-Knowing Lord grants permission to marry up to four wives, recognizing all of our needs and the solutions to our problems. Islam does not mandate men to practice polygamy, which is why only some Muslim men do so. The vast majority choose to remain monogamous. This conditional allowance for limited polygamy is intended for specific situations and comes with additional duties and significant responsibilities for the husband.

Merely discussing polygamy doesn't mean one endorses it. A neutral exploration is essential to reveal its benefits and societal value. Nonetheless, I have presented this subject as it is depicted in Islam.

On a personal note, I have been happily married to my wife for over forty-four years. A good wife can create a blissful home, but I struggle to understand how men with multiple wives manage to do so. I prefer to take the simpler route of having just one wife.

Correcting Misbehavior

There is a verse in the Holy Quran concerning the treatment of wives about which even many informed people are confused. It is discussed without understanding, and some even use it to defame Islam. I would prefer not to address this issue, but if I do not explain it here, readers may think that I am intentionally avoiding it.

Before we begin this discussion, I would like to remind you that every Islamic law and teaching is inspired by Allah and the Prophet , through Allah’s consent. Islam provides clarity on every aspect of life. The following verse was revealed to address common issues faced by husbands and wives. If Allah did not offer a solution, who else could? Allah’s commandments and resolutions are full of wisdom, as He is the All-Knower, the All-Wise.

Allah reveals in the Holy Quran:

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا 34⁴⁶

Men are leaders over women, because Allah elevated among them one over another, and because men spend their wealth; thus, chaste wives are loyal behind (their) backs and guardians of whom Allah has taken into (His) protection. And those of whom you fear being depraved, so make them understand, and leave them alone in their beds, and hit them. Then, if they become loyal to you, do not seek ways to accuse them. Certainly, Allah is Most Supreme.

In the family structure established by Islam, women are not required to be the primary earners; instead, their typical role involves managing the household. Men are expected to work and provide for the family's necessities. Because men use their earnings to support their families and attend to essential matters, they are often seen as the heads of the household. If husbands are not granted appropriate authority, it can lead to weakness and ineffective family management. Husbands are responsible for meeting their wives’ needs, ensuring their livelihood and comfort, and treating them fairly. In return, wives are expected to be virtuous, obedient, and chaste during their husbands’ absence, which is a fair expectation. Islam emphasizes that both husbands and wives should fulfill their designated roles to sustain a healthy family dynamic. It is essential to acknowledge that not all men and women may follow these roles; therefore, Allah provides guidance in this verse on how to address wives' misbehavior, legally and conditionally. Remember, those who are unjust have no right to correct others.

As a first step, Allah guides husbands to admonish their wives properly for disobedience. Certainly, this is sufficient for intelligent, sincere, and good wives. If her disobedience escalates, then as a second step, punish her by leaving her alone and not sharing her bed. This typically resolves the issue. If she still does not understand, refuses to correct herself, and continues her flagrant misbehavior, which may indicate that she does not realize the severity of the problem, then Islam grants her husband permission to lightly hit her, but not cross the limits. This permission from Allah is, as a last resort, intended to protect the marriage and prevent a breakdown of the family through separation and divorce. However, this permission comes with strict restrictions and regulations.

Following these three steps of admonishment, if any sense of dignity and concern for her family still exists, she will rectify her behavior and spare her family and husband the pain of divorce. Allah further states in the same verse that if they begin to comprehend, they should not be disturbed any further. If they fail to do so, later verses instruct both parties to pursue mediation, and if that is unsuccessful, separation and divorce will ensue.

However, divorce is most undesirable to Allah. Allah guides people to find ways to save the marital relationship, even if it means lightly ‘hitting’ the wife. In this case, hitting is the lesser evil, while divorce and disrupting children’s lives represent the greater evil. There is no doubt that hitting is uncivilized; however, to avoid a complete disaster, it is prescribed only as a last resort for betterment. The Holy Prophet’s ahadith sets limits to this act.

Hitting cannot and should not amount to brutality, breaking of bones, or causing blood to spill (i.e., it should not amount to beating, in any sense of the word). ⁴⁷

…do not strike her on the face… ⁴⁸

The Arabic term daraba, found in verse 4:34, specifically translates to "to hit." While this word has various meanings, including "slapping” and “beating,” none aside from "to hit” elucidates the verse's intent, nor do they align with the overarching philosophy of Islam. Moreover, these alternative interpretations would clash with many established and accepted ahadith.

The intent is to correct her privately and maintain her dignity. Once the husband beats her, which is likely to become known to the public, she loses her dignity. Even if she corrects herself after being beaten, she has already lost her dignity, which is undesirable in Islam. By “hitting,” if the problem is solved, her dignity remains preserved. The verse also clearly states that if she corrects herself, the husband must not find ways to humiliate and oppress her. Therefore, “beating” is not allowed, and slightly “hitting” is permitted only to indicate that the problem is getting out of hand. Moreover, “hitting” is allowed provided the husband’s behavior towards his family aligns with Islamic teachings.

An educated, sincere, intelligent, and reasonable woman might wonder: How can Islam permit a husband to strike his wife? In response, Islam might ask: Are all wives educated, loyal, sincere, virtuous, and sensible? In relationships where both partners are educated, sincere, and loyal, situations that necessitate hitting rarely arise. However, divine guidance should always be available, even for infrequent occurrences. Striking is considered a last resort intended to protect the household and the relationships of those women who, for various reasons, may struggle to recognize right from wrong or foresee dangers for themselves and their families. Hitting is allowed as a remedy, not as a form of abuse or justification for it.

A thorough examination reveals that Islam supports women's rights and does not condone any form of violence against them. In cases where a husband misuses his authority in the family and infringes upon his wife’s rights with acts of aggression, this issue must be addressed seriously, as the wife possesses the absolute right to defend her well-being and dignity.

I must conclude this chapter by referencing two of the most revered women, honored by Allah Himself, which showcases that women in Islam hold a high and elevated status.

قَالَ رَبِّ اجْعَلْ لِي آيَةً قَالَ آيَتُكَ أَلَّا تُكَلِّمَ النَّاسَ ثَلَاثَةَ أَيَّامٍ إِلَّا رَمْزًا وَاذْكُرْ رَبَّكَ كَثِيرًا وَسَبِّحْ بِالْعَشِيِّ وَالْإِبْكَارِ 41 وَإِذْ قَالَتِ الْمَلَائِكَةُ يَامَرْيَمُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ اصْطَفَاكِ وَطَهَّرَكِ وَاصْطَفَاكِ عَلَى نِسَاءِ الْعَالَمِينَ 42⁴⁹

And when the angels said, “O Maryam, certainly Allah has chosen you and purified you well, and in your distinctiveness elected you among the women of the world. O Maryam, be reverential to your Lord, and prostrate continuously and do ruku (bowing in worship) with the ones who do ruku.”

وَضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا امْرَأَتَ فِرْعَوْنَ إِذْ قَالَتْ رَبِّ ابْنِ لِي عِنْدَكَ بَيْتًا فِي الْجَنَّةِ وَنَجِّنِي مِنْ فِرْعَوْنَ وَعَمَلِهِ وَنَجِّنِي مِنَ الْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِينَ 11 وَمَرْيَمَ ابْنَتَ عِمْرَانَ الَّتِي أَحْصَنَتْ فَرْجَهَا فَنَفَخْنَا فِيهِ مِنْ رُوحِنَا وَصَدَّقَتْ بِكَلِمَاتِ رَبِّهَا وَكُتُبِهِ وَكَانَتْ مِنَ الْقَانِتِينَ 12⁵⁰

And Allah provided an ideal example in the woman of Pharaoh; when she supplicated, “O Sustainer! Make for me by You a house in Heaven, and save me from Pharaoh and his misconduct, and save me from the oppressors. And Maryam, the daughter of Imran, who remained chaste; so We blew into her from Our Self a soul, and she testified to the words of her Lord and of His Books, and became among the obedient ones.

• ¹  Holy Quran, Al-Hujurat, 49: 13
• ²  Holy Quran, Al-Araf, 7: 172
• ³  Holy Quran, An-Nahl 16: 91
• ⁴  Holy Quran, An-Nahl, 16: 97
• ⁵  Holy Quran, Al-Hujurat, 49: 13
• ⁶  Holy Quran, Ar-Rum, 30: 21
• ⁷  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 1
• ⁸  Holy Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2: 228
• ⁹  Holy Quran, An-Nahl, 16: 58-59
• ¹⁰  Abu Dawud
• ¹¹  Sahih Muslim
• ¹²  Mishkat
• ¹³  Holy Quran, At-Takwir, 81: 6-14
• ¹⁴  Holy Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2: 187
• ¹⁵  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 124
• ¹⁶  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 32
• ¹⁷  Holy Quran, Aal-Imran, 3: 195
• ¹⁸  Holy Quran, Al-Hadid, 57: 18
• ¹⁹  Holy Quran, Fatir, 33: 35
• ²⁰  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 7
• ²¹  Holy Quran, An-Nur, 24: 23-24
• ²²  Holy Quran, Al-Ahzab, 33: 58
• ²³  Holy Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2: 232
• ²⁴  Holy Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2: 234
• ²⁵  Holy Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2: 235
• ²⁶  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 19
• ²⁷  al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim
• ²⁸  Holy Quran, Al-Isra, 17: 23-24
• ²⁹  at-Tirmidhi
• ³⁰  Holy Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2:233
• ³¹  Al-Bukhari
• ³²  at-Tirmidhi
• ³³  Holy Quran, Al-Ahzab, 33: 28-29
• ³⁴  Holy Quran, An-Nur, 24: 30
• ³⁵  Holy Quran, An-Nur, 24: 31
• ³⁶  Holy Quran, Al-Ahzab, 33: 59
• ³⁷  Mishkat
• ³⁸  Al-Bukhari
• ³⁹  Sahih Muslim
• ⁴⁰  al-Nasa’i 3215
• ⁴¹  Mishkat
• ⁴²  al-Nasa’i
• ⁴³  Holy Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2: 232
• ⁴⁴  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 3
• ⁴⁵  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 129
• ⁴⁶  Holy Quran, An-Nisa, 4: 34
• ⁴⁷  at-Tirmidhi
• ⁴⁸  Abu Dawud
• ⁴⁹  Holy Quran, Al-Imran, 3: 41-42
• ⁵⁰  Holy Quran, At-Tahrim, 66: 11-12